The Butt-Suck

I feel bad for women...

I mean, we live in America, (those of us who live in America) where most of us are overwieght. I personally am consuming about twice the calories I did ten years ago. And I'm about 25-30 pounds heavier because of it.

The population, as a whole, bigger than it was a few years ago, and that means there is more fatties out and about in the world.

But anyway, that is beside the point. I want to write about fat men vs fat women.

If a fat man sees a pretty lady and wants to inmprove the way he looks, he sucks in his gut. It makes an improvement in his overall appearance, and drastically decreases the "hangover" of the belly over the top of the pants.

This gut-sucking reaction is almost instinctive, like a cat arching it's back when it's cornered to appear bigger and more threatening. It reminds me of the part in Tommy Boy when Chris Farley sucks in his gut and asks the lady where the weight room is.

Unfortunately, a woman can't suck in her big butt to make it look smaller. That's where the disparity is. A woman can't immediately alter her appearance to be more attractive like a guy can. They also can't suck in their butt to fit into a smaller pair of jeans, or to fin into an airplane seat.

I think that's why girls have a harder time with the current overweight epidemic that is befalling the country. Women actually have to work hard on losing weight since they can't make a simple adjustment by holding their breath.

They suffer from sucking envy.